The Slippery Slope
by Citrusy Snicket
Summary: My version of the Slippery Slope. Slight parody involved here. Violet and Klause make it to a ski logde, and strang coincidences are left and right. Please R
1. Dear Reader

A/N: This is my hopefully Snicketish version of the Slippery Slope. I am open to anything, even flames, although those might melt the snow. Wish me luck.  
  
Disclaimer: I am not Lemony Snicket (although I will be writing as though I am). Anything you recognize from his books is his. Anything not in his books, such as the Cauledaires, the ski lodge, and the Snow Scouts as portrayed here (the idea of the Snow Scouts belongs to Mr. Snicket, but how I portray them is MY idea) You can use anything you like, as long as you get permission from me first.  
___________________________________________________________________  
Dear Reader,  
When you picked this book up, you undoubtably did not know the horrors it contains. You most likely assummed, from the title, that it concerns a ski lodge, which it does. But you also probably assumed it was about three pleasant children who safely go to a pleasant, well-known ski resort, on a pleasant, vacation, and have a plesant time. Although the children are pleasant, everything else is far from it.  
The contents of this book include an strange coincidence, a mysterious woman, an unfinished ski jump, poisened hot chocolate, and exeedingly cheerful children. And now that you have heard of such unpleasant things, you will probably think twice before picking a book out of the snow.  
I am implored to continue to research the lives of the Baudelaire children. You however, are free to take this book to the nearest cliff and toss it off the edge, which I highly reccomend you do.  
With all due respect,  
Lemony Snicket  
_______________________________________________________________________  
So, You like? Tell me please. Should I go on? 


	2. Chapter One

A/N: Well, I have never done this before, and I am not the best at writing like Lemony Snicket. But, God help us all, I am writing my version of the slippery slope. Thankies to my one reveiwer, legolastheelvenarcher, because otherwise this would never work. Not that I expect it to anyway. Wish me luck. Here goes.  
Chapter One  
  
If you have ever been to a ski resort to go skiing, or snowbording, or ice skating, you know that near the ski lift there is ussually a cabin known as the ski lodge. In the ski lodge, there is ussually armchairs, sofas, a fireplace, and sometimes, if you're lucky, free hot chocolate.   
In the case of the Baudelaire orphans, ski lodges contain many, many other things, besides the free hot chocolate. But at the moment, the Baudelaires were not in a ski lodge, they were in a caravan that was rapidly falling off the egde of a mountain. And if they did not think fast, they would pulnge to their deaths.  
"Oh Klaus, what are we going to do?" Violet cried in dispair.  
"I don't know." her brother answered  
"Haven't you ever read how to escape out of a situation like this?" Violet asked. Klaus Baudelaire was an avid reader - a phrase whic here means "someone who, by the age of thirteen, had read more books than most people read in their entire lives," and it is a phrase which discribes Klaus perfectly. So it was only natural that Violet would think he might know how to get out of the situation, but Klaus did not.  
"I'm afraid not" Klaus said, "there aren't many books written about people with our kind of bad luck. Could you invent something to get us out of here?" he asked.  
Violet Baudelaire was a skilled inventor. She had gotten herself, and her siblings out of many terible situations with one of her inventions. She looked around the tiny caravan and smiled.  
"I don't need to." Violet said, "Because I already have." She ran to the corner of the caravan and took out a makeshift grappling hook that she had made a long time ago. "This is the grappling hook I made in order to rescue Sunny from the tower at Count Olaf's house. He must have kept it, and then put it in here when there was no more room in the trunk." she said.   
Count Olaf was a greedy and sinsiter man, who was the reason the Baudelaires were in this terrible situation to begin with. Olaf also had the youngest Baudelaire, Sunny, in his clutches and the two older Baudelaires wanted very much to rescue their sister, but first they had to get themselves to saftey  
Expertly, Violet threw the grappling hook, when it didn't fall, she gave it a sharp yank and jumped on. Klaus followed the suit. The two Baudelaires began to climb and climb and climb (they had long since taken off their freaks coustume so as to better think of a way out of their dillema. But it was a very long grappling hook, and it seemed as though Olaf had added another fiffteen feet to it. The Baudelaires quickly grew very tired, and wanted to rest, but it is very difficult to rest when you have to cling to a rope made of old clothes to keep from falling to your death. They both stopped climbing though, and hug on to the rope, to catch their breath. It was then they noticed that the rope was moving upward by itself. Somebody was pulling them up.  
"What should we do?" Klaus asked.  
"What can we do? We let whoever it is pull us up." Violet answered  
"But what if they recgognize us from the picture in the Daily Punctilio?" Klaus said.  
"I hadn't thought of that. But we're still disguised faicially. Perhaps they won't notice." Violet said.  
"But what if they do?" Klaus said.  
"Then we run for it." Violet said, using a phrase which here means "run as fas as we possibly can"  
The Baudelaire's waited and let themselves get pulled up, untill they heard voices.  
"I can see them Victor!" a girl's voice cried.  
"Then help me pull them up!" a boy's voice answered.  
"I've got a better idea." the girl's voice said. They heard footsteps and saw a hand reach over the side, and heard the girl cry "Give me your hand!"  
Violet grasped the hand and jumped off the rope. With her other hand she grabbed the edge of the cliff and pushed herself up. Klaus had done the same thing with the help of the boy. The two Baudeliares looked at the three people who had helped them.  
One was a boy, who looked about fifften. He had sandy blonde hair, and was wearing a baseball cap. The second was a girl, who looked almost thirteen. She had sandy blonde hair as well, and wore cats-eye glasses. The last one was a baby boy, who had four very sharp teeth and reminded the Baudelaires of Sunny, who shared that characteristic.  
"Hello," the boy said "My name is Victor, and this is my sister Kate and our little brother Sammy. Who are you?" he asked.  
The two Baudelaires looked at each other. They should probably make up names again, just in case. "My name is Beatrice and my brother is Charles." she said, thinking of two names she remembered hearing, but couldn't remember where.  
"What were you doing down there?" Kate asked.  
Klaus sighed. "It's a long story."  
"Well, we don't have time for it right now. We were on our way to Caligari Carnival to get our fourtunes told." Victor said.   
"Sheatu!" Sammy said.  
"And to see what hard things there were in the gift shop." Kate translated.  
The Baudelaires smiled and saw that tiny Sammy spoke in fragments just like their sister,  
"Would you like to come? " Victor offered.  
The two Baudelaires looked down. "Caligari Carnival has burnt down." Violet said.  
"Oh no." Victor, Kate and Sammy said together.  
"Yes. We were escaping the fire." Klaus said.  
"So that's why you look like you have ashes in your hair and soot on your faces." Victor observed.  
"Even though you still look really familiar." Kate obseved.  
"Déja vu." Sammy agreed.  
The Baudelaires looked at one another nervously. "Is that so? Well, I can't imagine where." Violet said.  
"So, do you read the Daily Puntilio?" Klaus asked, pretending to change the subject.  
Kate's face lit up. "Oh, yes. I read it every day. It's the most informative newspaper out there, don't you think?"  
Violet and Klaus nodded, even though they thought quite the opposite.  
"Perhaps we should get you two up to the lodge. So you can get cleaned up and stuff." Victor said.  
"What lodge?" Klaus asked  
"The ski lodge that our parents run."Kate answered.  
"Beatrice, you can use my jacket. You'll freeze in just that hosptital gown." Victor said.  
"Why are you wearing it?" Kate asked.  
Violet sighed, "It's another long story."  
"You can tell us when we get to the lodge." Victor said.  
So the two Baudelaires followed Victor, Kate, and Sammy. They were very afraid, of course, that they would be discovered, but at the moment, this was the only choice they had.  
"So, why did you decide to help us?" Klaus asked.  
"Well, I saw the makeshift grappling hook, and we realized that only somone desparate would risk using it on the Mortimain Mountians, so we decided we should pull you up." Victor said, and stopped walking, "Well, here we are." he said.  
"Where?" Violet asked, "I don't see anything."  
"This is a secret passageway, so we can get from the lodge to the rest of the world easier" Victor said, and pushed at the side of the mountian. A small shower of snow came down on the five of them, and as Violet and Klaus shook their heads and rubbed their eyes to get the snow off, the talcum pwder in their hair and the fake scars on their faces came off as well.  
Kate, who had not said anything in a long time gasped at the two and pulled at her older brother's sleeve. "Victor, I know who they are! They're the Baudelaires!" she said.  
Victor looked at the Baudelaires in shock. "My gosh!" he said, "I do beleive you're right. 


End file.
